please tell me im not the only one who remembers that photoset/gif that went around where it has the final scenes of death note where light is trying to defend himself but someone replaced the text so it was him teaching them how to swim
okay but where is the comic because that shit was my favorite forever
i accidentally told my friend the sweetest pick up line ever. i started talking about solipsism (the belief that everything around you was created by your mind) and i went “If everything around me is all my imagination, then you’re the best thing I’ve come up with” she was speechless for a solid five minutes.
you call me up in the middle of the night complaining about being scared of the rocks in your backyard and I will come over right away and punch them for you. consider it a perk of my friendship
Simple and Clean is truly magical because never before has a song made me so emotional while making the least amount of sense imaginable
Bernadine’s has always had a thing for trees. Has she finally found a tree that’s the one for her? Fingers crossed things get filthy!
the perfect book to read after watching guardians of the galaxy i reckon.
someone got wood
the infamous car alarm. Wee woo, mother fuckers.
Bow to Me. I am the Coke Fiend.
evidently I’m not even a z-grade supervillain
Still better than me, the Annoying Dude Who Won’t Leave!
Bow down for am I staying here.
Egads! It’s the Well Educated Black Man. Here come my roommates…
Behold! The Dude Who Won’t Leave and the Motherfucking Bible Nazi.
Bow to me, I am the Bible Nazi
Fuck You, I’m the Customer.
The horrifying decision to give up
You want my phone number? It’s useless. The best way to contact me is to fill a human skull with acorns and vigorously shake it into the night. I will hear you eventually.
if you scream at 19yr old retail workers who are trying their hardest till they cry i hope you fucking burn in the deepest level of hell
I feel like the Mormons should work at Monsters Inc. but instead of scaring people they just try to convert them.
I just showed this to my Mormon friend who’s about to leave on her mission and she’s crying from laughing so hard.